Please

stay true!

Its really nice

to see someone is a true friend no matter how close or far apart the relationship might be...
thanks sammy.

Another thought..

So two days, two girls decided to come into my work, and of course they got there sandwhich i made it for them, but they were dressed diffrently, in a business suit, so showing "good customer service" i proceeded to ask, "why the fancy uniform?" now those words might have not been the best choise but they told me, were from the church of scientology, and being who i am i'm very intrigued by new things and learning about things that i'm unfamiliar about, so i asked my questions as in whats it about, and what do you beleive in. I sat down with them, and i had the first real conversation with those two then i have had in awhile, I really havn't talked to alot of people about something that actually intrested me in awhile, so i was there for like an hour sitting at a table learning and, became fasinated by what they were saying, about this fairly new, and highly rising religion, now don't get it screwed up this post isn't about me turning into a scientologist and stuff. It was nice to see a religion where it wasn't about one person, it wasn't about beleiving in one God, and it wasn't about going to heaven or hell, it was a religion on making yourself better, a religion that will accept what you want to do to show that you are what you are, and it's a religion where it answers those many questions that you may have mainly in your adolecsent age, such as who am i? what am i here for? etc. These two girls described to me something that blew me away, they told me to close my eyes, and picture a cat, or anything, so i did i closed my eyes, and pictured my old cat lakai. I opened my eyes shortly after to see them staring at me, they asked me to ask myself who saw that if your eyes are closed, i know that you have a photographic memory and all but, your eyes are closed, they beleive that man has a spirit within which is judged upon death. The whole closed eyes thing really did blow me away becasue i never thought of it like that, like who really is seeing that, casue my eyes are closed, and i am picturing that. Now as weird as it may seem, it would be ten times more comforting to have a spirit within me, knowing that there is one within me. It would give me alot of relief to know that something is there for me, and watching over me, not watching over me, but being there throughout my life, not that he/it is writing a documentary about it. It's just really facinating to take in at once for me. Now, i don't believe in scientology but i must say it's more respectable religion then some, It sure isn't Christainity, or Catholic kind of thing, but i think thats what the world needed, a religion to turn to for the open minded, a thing for those questions that you have, it's really intresting becasue with a bible or torah or anything else, it will not answer those questions for you it will just tell you to follow his law, and you were put on here for a reason, he does not mention what that reason, but i guess the excitement is finding out what your here for. For some that isn't enough, they want to know the answers while there here on earth, and not finally realizing it on there death bed. They gave me a car filled with information about what they're about and where churches and stuff were, I do one day want to take a trip to this place they were talking about where you just walk in and watch movies and read scriptures and stuff about it. Now for some it might sound gay but i think it'd be really cool thing to do. So maybe when i get a car i'll take a trip down there by myself, who knows. That really did change my perspective on that subject because what people made it seem was a totally diffrent thing. It's respectable in it's own ways. Its inspiring in a way too.
Much love.

simplicity

I really admire the simplicity in some peoples lives, like the whole routine thing. sure it could get plain and boring, but i really admire the people who have like content lives and stuff just cause they do what they want, wake up and have a good day everyday.

real world..

lately i've really felt like i'm in the real world, i've got a job, sure it's not the best ya know cuz i don't go to school or whatever, i'm getting paid so fuck you i'm amounting more than you've thought i bet, and for all those people that tell stephanie that, all your going to do is take care of him cuz he dropped out of school, i think thats cute how you want to break us up and all, but i mean you act like cuz i dropped out of highschool thats the end of it..NO, i'm getting my ged, and i'm going to cp to get a associates degree in something, then hopefully transfering, just consider my time off, time to prepare for whats to come, i will now have money to get a car, have money to pay for college, have money to have fun. i'm just really tired of people trying to bring me down just cuz i dropped out, even the closest of close of my friends and family are dissapointed, but i promise that i won't let my self fall into that statistic. but back to the real world subject, it feels really nice actully to havea decent sleep schedule, a set of friends, a wonderful girlfriend...kinda crazy feeling. like this is what it's gonna be like? i still skate on my days off, i still see my friends, i work alot but i mean it all come to money so thats good. i'm feeling like i'm actully growing up, and taking responsibilities. i just can't wait to get my car. i'm sorry for those people who seriously have nothing better to talk about then me and stephanie and how she's gonna take care of me, like why would that even cross your mind. kinda dumb, it's funny. Well i also am discouraged about pretty much all the "dead peckers", they all had talent in skating and they decide to drink or party or do dumb stuff. but i mean its whatever it's there lives, i'm not talking about marcel he still skates and rips it. and jordan goes to school, but apparently the rest of them have "to much stress" from work or whatever gay excuse they can come up with to drop a drink or two to make them feel good for the night. we all know i'm totally against drinking, so ill just stop the lecture stuff. Just live life how you want its yours but this is mine, and i'm going to make the most out of it, and i'd really hope that you don't have to worry about what i do, and talk about what i'm going to or not going to do. i've really lost quite alot of friends, well not really lost, i just don't seem to care to talk to them anymore, it's not like they helped me out ya know, so sorry for those texts that i haven't answered, or those myspace comments i don't reply too, i just care for my close friends and thats all i need.
much love intended!

whhhhat?

i'm paid!

uhhhhh

i'm really tired of this insecurity bullshit with my relationship! i know i shouldn't worry about it, but it still makes me nervous and i overthink the shit. i've done alot of work lately, so i'm a have phatttt booty check..other than that i havn't done much this thursday i'm hanging out with steph before she goes to the beach. i'm stoked on that, i havn't gotten to see her much cuz of work and all that jazz. hopefully i don't have this hectic of a schedule, i'm still training but i get to see my schedule for next week so i'll get a glimpse of what it'll actually be like! atleast my boss likes me, he's a cool dood. but seriously about the whole insecurity situation i wish i just had her to tell me were all okay, because behind the whole cheating i some how think it's my fault happen, like if i wasn't treating her good enough, i'm not good enough for her, that made her want to experiment with boys again orsomething, i'm just really confused ya know? is it not a natural feeling to be this insecure after getting cheated on, i mean i know alot of people would've ended it as soon as they got "the call" saying that she did that, but were all human you know i htink she deserves a second chance. Even though she's still going to drink which is beyond retarded, and kinda shows disrespect to me, i'll let it slide, i'm not the type who's going to ruin a girls fun and stuff cuz i don't approve of it. it's just i don't know if i cheated on my girlfriend cuz of drinking i think i'd want to stop drinking just becasue i wouldn't want that happening again, i mean she could say that it won't but she said that before it happen to ya know? so what makes me believe it, and just cause she's drunk doesn't make it any less of an excuse you still had the choise to be wrapped in someone else's arms and make out with some random fucking sceneager, i'm sure if it wasn't for dan coming in, it would've got worse, and that hurts to think deep down, that how you wanted to see me so fucking bad that night, but then i wasn't on your mind apparently if you could be doing that with another guy...so it's just a fucked up situation in general cuz if i was on your mind, i know you would have had the decensy to stop while you could have. theres just so many things that could've changed the outcome of that night, internally and externally, mayabe if your phone didn't die, i coudl've kept talking to you, maybe if you weren't to drink so much, it would'nt have gotten to that point..i just don't see how it all happened and it really is horrible to think of how it was. It's really hard to picture that everyday i think about it. I know this is why i have my insecurites but before this happened i thought we were perfect ya know? i didn't see anything wrong with us, now you give me a reason to beleive that i'm not good enough for you, and if thats how it really is, thats relaly messed up, you've through me through an emotional rollercoaster, and i know thats the typical thing for someone to say in a long term relationship but i think i have peope to vouch for me that i really have been. not to say that i havn't done anything in return that was against you, and for those things i still am truely sorry for all i've done to upset you, and i wish i could take them away. I still do love you with all my heart, and i always will, i miss how we were though. I mean the times when we used to hang out all the time, you always wanted to be with me, going to celebration station, the movies, eating everywhere, everything you did i did. i miss that. and now your starting to blame me for not seeing eachother enough and that i'm amounting to nothing..why is there not a reason to be scared, or not to be insecure..? i really wish someone would talk to me about this, and give me some opinion or some advice or something besides the typical fuck her, break up with her, cause it's not worth it, the price of love is far beyond anything, i have that, and i don't want to loose that and you must understand that. I'm really determined to keep what i have, i always havea long fight for what i want and i won't stop till i get it usually. Now stephanie i love you more than anything and you know that. i just wish you'd explain to me why it happened, you tell me that you don't know why it happen, but thats simply not a good enough answer, i want answers to ease my mind so i know the real truth, I don't want to be haunted by the thought of you with another guy when i'm with you again, i can't take that bullshit, you humiliated yourself more than us. you were just another number to that guy, and i know you feel like a slut for it and i would too cuz i mean he's just one of those dudes that are out for one thing, and i'm telling you, and you didn't beleive me. but whatever i know you feel like shit about being another number so i won't rub that in, you humiliated us. one because they think that i'm not good enough for you cuz if you can do that, then it's kinda true ya know? i wonder how long i'll have these thoughts of you in my head stephanie, i wonder how long it'll make me insecure. i wonder how you'll solve this, thats for you to decide but you act like nothings wrong now..which also shows that your not very sorry for what you did, but you said i acted the same about the whole melissa thing...which is true. it just hurts i dont know. the further into a relationship you decide to do this shit, the worst it is. you've really ruined alot i just don't show it to you, or want you to know. i've just been really blah lately about all this shit, and i don't have anyone really to turn to cuz i don't have that one trustful friend that won't say shit to no one, and posting on here is all i got. i will be taking off my link on myspace so no one besides people that follow me can read this, cuz i know that they won't tell anyone, cuz one they don't care how i feel, or how my thoughts are. so i won't have to worry about that...i think this was my longest post yet, and my most emotional one, so i'm sorry if you read this and if you read it all congrats for showing that you care some what or you're just nosey and read it all to get the scoop on something you didn't need to know about.
love you all!!

uhh...

even though it's already been said....
you all sound about gay as fuck when you talking about drinking.
"i can't wait to get drunk so i can get all this stress out.."
really now? thats what you do to get stress free...fucking pathetic, i don't care how many people i offend with this post! If there is one thing that will always bug me it will be drinking only because i've had a past with that in the family and it wasn't a pretty site so fuck off if you're like omg whast so wrong with it jason you're such a striahgt edge piece of shit why don't you just try it....i got an idea why don't you stop trying to be another fucking statistic and actully live life, get a fucking hobby or something!! actully do something that would improve yourself! seriously i wanna know what kind of stress you could be possibly going through at the ripe age of 18-20, i mean maybe college and thats it, but come on dude it's fucking pathetic!! I would love for someone to try to argue with me why drinking is good for you..! seirously someone try me!! i know drinking is just an opinion if you like it or not. but as you can tell i seriously am against it! smoking weed i don't care about but drinking getting completely blown like hell yeah dood this is whats up i can't wait to do this every weekend of my college life man this isn't ever going to get played out!! and atleast if you drink wait till your fucking 21!

updates!

it's hot out!!

my back

i wish i knew what was wrong with it!

april 26

you know i forgot how awesome it was to do something that you wanted to accomplish and you worked for it. i mean i have one big accomplishment and that was fighting for someone, everyone who knows me should know who that person is. and yesterday i realized that i used to push myself to accel in skateboarding too, and i missed it and i'm starting to do it again. becasue i love the feeling of success i suppose. just try after try, and you get closer every try too, then when you finally roll away how it feels? or just the simplicity of being slow mo'd in the air to land bolts or to catch your board right, i don't know its just sick. Plus i havn't really felt to successful lately cuz my job thing hasn't fallen through completely yet, and i'm hoping it does soon cuz i'm really ready to work and get some money to get things that i want and actually be able to do something! I want to go bowling again with my brother it's so fun being around him now that were older, we always laugh and joke its a nice change from what we used to be and that was nothing but nice. glad to see he and i grown up and decided hey since we've been around eachother for 17 years might as well make the best of it! but yeah, i havn't seen patrick lately :[ that bums me out but it's cuz he has a job and he's very busy with that, which hopefulyl i will be too cuz that means mo time mo dough! I want to get some new clothes and some new shoes and a new board, thats what i'll start with cuz i'm tired of having used stuff ya know? i want the feel of a fresh deck :D. dude no joke the shoes from wallmart those airspeed classics..those things are dope man for real. i say you all should go pick up a pair if you have some vans half cab or mid tops. cuz there just the same almost! but as far as skating goes i am progressing once again and i'm glad i am too i'm glad i'm finally pushing myself to do better and hopefully tings will just go more and more! not till i'm pro of course cuz thats way to hard these days but just till you know i'm satisfied. . . .

updating!

i got some really cool half cab knock offs yesterday from walmart they actully skate really good and i like them alot! i couldn't skate some half cab like the real version so thank you mike mcgil! haha. and i learned like two tricks today which is sick! i hope i can throw it down something. who knows! but i've been good, i've been having some really livid dreams lately though! it's really cool i can like control what happens and stuff kinda. it's weird! but yeah, i saw alex today for the first time in awhile cuz he's busy with school and work i'm about to get a job at subway tomorrow the manager should be calling me so i'm stoked to finally be working man again!

thought

i really wish i had some footage or something to look back on when i'm older.
i want something cool man. like an actual crew you know that i skate with all the time.
and make fun stuff and eventully a video or something or just montages something that i can see how far i've come or even like to show how far i've came and stuff! i dont know just irks me i suppose!...

sorry

for the lack of post me and dylan have been b usy filiming for lukes video,
me and dylan are having a shared part and it's been a blast i'm glad were sharing it.
we have tons of funny outtakes already just cuz were those kind of guys always joking around and having fun i suppose, i decided that i'm going to step it up a little and do some big stuff. what big stuff is right now i don't really know. i just have to get my confidence back i guess! but lately i havn't seen stephy that much, and it makes me uncomfortable. i broke my board two days ago man. on a trick for the video. :[ i loved that board so much man. but i knew it was about time for it to go it was old, and watterlogged haha. so yeah i let that one r.i.p in the trashcan! so where ever adventures take it after that i hope there nice! well yeah just wanted to quick post so you guys know what i've been up to if you read this and sorry again for the lack of post!

stoked!

today i met geoff rowley it was pretty awesome meeting a skateboarding legend, he was a really chill guy and he's shorter than i am, which suprised me. he just seems so happy i don't know just doing what he does best and making a living off it. and all the kids were so hyped to see him i wish i could be like that one day. but i think thats one dream that isn't going to happne :[
but it was really cool seeing him i wish we would've stayed longer maybe he would've skated or something oh and i saw some of my old friends up there too it was nice talking to them and catching up on things. just an overall good time. i got a poster signed by him! and i got some free stickers and a free shirt! which is always good and the funny thing is i didn't even have to pay for me to see him, i got free stuff for it! haha how ironic!
well thats all !

sooo

i guess after all i'm going to be in lukes movie.
its nothing big well my part won't be. i think.
i dont think i want to do big stuff just fun and cool stuff.

mann..

drinking must be some fun as shit
fun enough to ditch your boyfriend on your anniversary.
preciate it!!

Rant!

i get really annoyed when people like make fun of me or something for hanging with my girlfriend.
not making fun of but like getting at me like
"thats why i don't try anymore"
trying to hang out with me i suppose but i mean i'm hardly ever with her and its spring break when i can finally see her! it makes me mad cuz i mean i can hang with these people anytime ya know? and i do i always skate with them and shit but god forbid i don't go on one of there outtings just cause i want to spend time with someone i love. it's stupid i never got on there backs for it dood so i mean i'm pretty sure if they had a girlfriend they'd understand thats why i dont understand why there like that cuz some do! so i mean it's a pointless post and all! but yeah just had to let that out you know! but on a lighter side of things i skated with patrick, wade, justin, and htis guy nick at the skate park yesterday it was pretty tight! but nothing much has been happening i'm really happy how things are going. some things bother me though how pepole get so down on themselves whatever happen to self confidence and stuff of that sort? like i saw a myspace default of someone crying and like her post are all like i feel like dying and shit. i don't get how you get that low. but then i can't talk cause i dnt know the situation she's in and i hope the best for her whatever it might be.
i know that life could be hard and all but honestly nothing is worth crying or wanting to die for man. it kinda seems pathetic that you would stoop that low. what also makes me like uneasy is how people automaticly relate to god for everything like why does this happen and such. i'm pretty sure God would'nt want anyone to hurt you know so if stuff does happen you got to let it go by i mean you'll get over it, it's life you know you get shit thrown in your way don't let it stop you and make you miss things that could possibly being one of the greatest times of your life. thats why i love skateboarding and my friends and my girlfriend there the best things thats ever been in my life and i thank you for them =]
well thats my rant and post for now i'll get back to this later!
much love!

FUN!

well today....
the start was a boring ol' rainy day!
then my boy patrick was like yo wanna do something!
so we ate some pizza beofre he came then he got there with justin, and john.
some cool ass dudes you know!
you know we made some jokes and had fun in the sauna ..i mean patricks car!
then we got to luigi's cuz they were hungry at some pizza you know i snagged patricks crust!
then we went to this manuel pad under a parking deck to get some good skating down!!
none the less we made the best of a rainy day man! i love hanging with those dudes man!
john always full of charisma and humor never a dull time with him even though he was raggin on me and my shorts today!!
but besides that patrick was beasting it like alwasy! making me laugh saying he's the best and all!
then me dylan and justin were just dancing the whole day and skating haha! that kids cool both of them.
we were striahgt TELLING IT!! all day!
then dan came i don't think he likes me anymore man, kinda a bummer cuz we used to be good firends. kinda hurts but i mean it's whatever maybe i'm just over thinking it like i always do. we don't talk so i cna't really figure it out..so if you read this dan, hit me up for real so we can sort whatever out. i miss you as a friend man. you just don't even know.
and anyways enough with the sad rant. after getting kicked out we went to another spot and it was a manuel pad, marcel did some crazy ass shit.
he always suprises me with the stuff he does.
i wish i would've skated with him alot more man. dood amps you up!
but yeah it was a fun day at the end we all went to jack in the box and ate..
then we headed off for home now i'm just talking to stephanie. and i must say i'm real pleased with how it's going.
eating a cheeseburger!! getting fatter! haha.
well sorry for the long post! just wanted to tell you bout my awesome day..
maybe i should start taking pictures like jon does. but my camera sucks hahah!
love you all who read!

<3

Karma...

is alive!!

Skateboarding

i love you skateboarding, i owe you my life! =]

be aware.

my hampster is watching you.

OH WAIT!!

I LOVE CHRISTOPHER MCCURDY!!

man

i love hanging out with dylan dood that guy makes me laugh so hard no matter what.
i hung out with him today for the first time in awhile and i'm glad i did i needed a laugh like that with them, just all around coolest dood ever.

I am thankful for all my friend i'm either getting or still having it means alot your still my friends and stuff. i hate those fucked up kids that like just throw you around, you know who you are. i mean it's just retarded.

John O is a beast and so is patrick i'm glad i'm making friends with them, i miss Sammy he used to inspire me to skate so much man! i just wish i was as beast as him!

I thank darren for being my friend i always have badass conversations he's probablly one of the smartest kids and can keep a conversation with him. .sorry if i seem mad sometimes its cuz of other shit man., but i thank you for being there and being trustful and stuff.

it's gay how my friends are changing man, like i'm not saying its bad and i want them to stop cuz i'm not trying to make anyone stop doing something that makes them happy i miss david arevalo back in the day when it used to be me and keith riding around in his truck listening to anti-flag hah that shit was so fun. skating downtown all the time and stuff. just all fun man. i miss that kid just as much as i miss keith. wish he was still here. gabriel was awesome too he still is but yeah he's changed al ittle to i still love that kid to death he's a beast at skating i wish he still skated with me i love that dood he's a beast.

i realize no one reads this but it's still fun to vent and stuff. i havn't hung with patrick in awhile i really consider him a tight friend even though it's been a little i always have fun with him and stuff. it's fun playing skate with him and stuff just cruising, if yo uread this man i've been listening to alot of jeezy haha he's a beast! haha.

well i love you guys!! welcome to my blog glad you could make it!
ps. happy gilmore is the greatest movie ever!

okay

you can not tell me that this peanut doesn't look like a duck =]





have a good day!!

OR!

i wish i could be this cute! Neighbor is a beast!

i wish

i could be this cute

today!

dood i woke up and played some search and destroy then patrick came and got me met some cool dood and hung with patrick, john o, justin and wade! watched them eat pizza at luigi's cuz i'm broke as helL!! then we went to silver lake and i got some of my tricks back!! wasuup!! then i came home cuz i was drained i havn't really ate all day but i got some pizza now! no worries! but yeah i still need a job so if anyone wants to give me one hit me up! i got a icture i ripped straight from john's blog from today! i'm looking all hard ass i know! well thats it back to pwning noobs!!